Today I’m going to show you another large-scale ink artwork. Its name is “I’m Thinking Too Much”. This drawing is about people who spend most of their time inside their heads.
It is not about being dreamy or thoughtful. I’d say, it’s rather an illustration of the never-ending process of listening to various “what if…” and “what for” that talk about worries, doubts, and fears. This thing is so draining.
Those people are constantly looking for a special way that is guaranteed to be the best. They want to be good at something, but don’t even start – or continue. All the amazing creations that could be made remain only ideas.
They feel that happiness is around the corner, but it always becomes impossible to make this final step and grab it. Safety and stability control their lives with an iron fist.
As you’ve probably guessed, This artwork is a symbol of my (previous) life. I was this person who was constantly thinking, worrying, full of doubt. All these things were draining the life out of me. Plus, I wasn’t actually doing much, and without actions, nothing can change for the better.
I lived in this state for years, and it took a lot of effort to get out. While drawing, I felt like living through the difficult times again, and again, and again.
But you know what? That lengthy period of time actually was amazing. It was my purgatory, an area of preparation. I was going to break – or to become greater than anything that was limiting me.
Sometimes suffering is bliss. It allows seeing what is truly important, finding the way, changing the attitude to everything that is happening. I look back with gratitude.
I put much effort to think over the character. My goal was to keep the balance between realism and stylization. This girl should look like a shadow of a real living person; her existence is devoured with countless thoughts.
This “neither here nor there” state is the reason why her face is quite flat visually. You won’t find any deep shadows or many elaborated details there.
I gave much attention to the eyes – they are the window to the soul. First, I was going to make the pupils totally black, even without a hint at a highlight. Highlights give some liveliness to the eyes of any creature, so removing them might create the effect I was looking for. But, after looking at the result (let’s say, it way exceeded my expectations), I added some white ink to the eyes, recovering the highlights.
I really liked drawing details and all these tangled elements. It is time-consuming yet extremely relaxing. The whole artwork took me about 100 hours to complete. But the result is worth the effort.
This drawing presents a high contrast: some areas are really dark, almost solid black. I created them with an ink liner.
For this kind of work, my fingers make the liner move in small circles. I believe that drawing in this manner allows for achieving a more organic effect. Yes, this way is time-consuming than just covering the whole area with a wide brush and liquid ink, but the result is absolutely worth the effort.
There are tiny parts of white paper showing through the ink applications. They create “air” in the drawing. Without them, the artwork would lose its magic.
By the way, I shared a video of working in this technique on Instagram.
Moss and lichen grow on the face and body of the character for a reason.
A person is immersed in an imaginary world of constant thinking, doubting, and worrying… in the end, their mind and whole life become stiffened. They don’t get due care and fresh air – in a figurative sense. Also, there is no personal evolution.
Actually, I like both frogs and toads. They are cute. Why did I choose them as a symbol for this artwork?
Obviously, its theme isn’t joy or happiness. A person in doubt, constantly struggling to make something with their disturbing thoughts, can’t be quite cheerful or enthusiastic.
I think there is a misconception. Frogs or toads aren’t gross, as some people believe. They have amazing refined skin, intelligent eyes and tiny ‘fingers’. Sometimes they greet you with a funny croak.
A person who thinks too much is a person with huge potential. It always is this way. But this potential is misunderstood; the enormous amount of mental energy could be used for a greater purpose. These thoughts are also an indication of intelligence.
The potential itself is neutral. It becomes ‘evil’ only if we don’t take responsibility, stay indecisive, and avoid making something with that potential. It’s our choice to accept ourselves in full, become kind and loving to the closest person we have.
Mushrooms take a considerable amount of space in the artwork. Their conic, almost angular shapes make me think of something unreal, out-of-the-way.
In the upper corner of the drawing, you’ll find a stylized, fantastic jellyfish. It evokes an association with poison.
I hope that you enjoyed our little journey. In conclusion, I wish to add that I see the inner light of this character. She has strength, courage, and personal integrity inside her.
Sometimes it takes time to find your way to the inner self, to the souse of joy and freedom. But this light is always there.
Thanks for watching!